worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
