this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You are the jesus of drinking
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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