I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
