why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
