We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
