someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
