check it out our google latitudes are spooning
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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