Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
it was like eating out sand paper
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
