Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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