sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
