Im at strip club and am horny
1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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