yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
