We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
We talked him into tasing himself.
As shirtless as possible
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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