please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
