the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
