I wannas sexs uuuuu
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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