you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize