Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
