I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
