Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
