I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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