I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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