it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Randomize
