And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Two words: blizzard sex
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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