But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize