yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
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