help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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