you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
