toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
