it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
