Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Girls should come with a carfax report
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
