Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize