god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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