when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
