well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm at about main and main street
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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