Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
