okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
