Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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