I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
