The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
