yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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