why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
