idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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