she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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