I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
