now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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