lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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