I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Randomize
