I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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