I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
