I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
