But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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