i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
barbara walters just said penis...
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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