She announced her abortion via fbk
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
