He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
