is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
