I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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