Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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