My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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