Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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