you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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