He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
