Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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