like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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