so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
