I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
