Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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