He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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