Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
