That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
