im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
