dude i'm inner monologue high
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
