Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He shit in the fireplace
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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