How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
