I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
