the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
